No Lonely Hearts Postings

When I started this blog, I made up my mind that there would be no postings about how awful and dreadful being single is. This promise includes Valentine’s Day. First things first, HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY, PEEPS!!! As I do on my annual Valentine’s Day post on my Facebook/Twitter account’s, I’m redeeming Valentine’s from the “if you’re half of a couple, you’re a nobody” shadow that makes this holiday a drag. Let this be a day to spread love to those get overlooked because they’re not part of a couple. Visit the elderly, take your kids out, get a bunch of your single unattached friends ( dudes/dudettes, it’s the weekend)and go out or better yet have a gathering at one your homes, visit your parents, send a special Valentine’s Day to the single’s in your contacts on your cell phone, go bowling, etc. And you are fortunate enough to be in a relationship, go to a hotel to spice things up. For those of you who are snowed in, be grateful to have a place to be snowed in, at least no one’s having to arrest you and put you in jail to get you out of the cold (remember the homeless? Yeah, exactly). But however you choose to spend this WONDERFUL holiday, LOVE SOMEBODY. Nothing takes your mind off your own status like demonstrating Christ’s love for mankind. You’re never more like Him than when you love.

In His Name,
Sis Anjanette Potter


Abstinence is Not Rocket Science | Christianity Today | A Magazine of Evangelical Conviction

This link is to an article I found very thought provoking.  Hit me up and let me know what you think about it.  It’s about abstinence and obedience.                                                      

 Abstinence is Not Rocket Science | Christianity Today | A Magazine of Evangelical Conviction.

Do You Care Where I Spend Eternity??? Pt. 1

The first time I saw this episode, I thought it was so funny. Especially when Elaine says, ” David, I’m going to HELL. The worst Place in the world, with devils, caves and ragged clothing and you should be trying to save me. I’m not going to hell and if you think I’m going to hell you should CARE if that I’m going to hell, but I am not going to hell !!!!!”

Now, for the record, I tend to almost be like a lot of  men when it comes to these types of relationship talks. You know the kind where the woman  asks  one those loaded questions like “Honey do these pants make my butt look big?” and there is no really  good answer because no matter how the guy answers, it just ain’t gonna be the right answer (which by the way , men do this mess too). However, the more I see this episode, there are things that stand out to me. Like,  1)How long was he planning on continuing to have a sexual relationship with her without bothering to mention that he’s saved? 2) He really doesn’t seem to care that she’s going to hell, yet he just spent the night at her place. 3) For this point, you have to be a regular Seinfleld fan to know this, but, he doesn’t seem to care at all about her destination until the end of the show when he finds out, you guessed it, they’re both going to hell (even the world acknowledges that fornication is still a sin).

So I did a little bit of independent investgating of my own. You see I’m on a journey of my own (preparing for marriage) and I thought about it. With all the talk that has been going on about the “plight” of single Black women, the abstinence issue, the shortage of Black men in church, sermon after sermon about men and their “special needs” (which they remind you of every five seconds). I thought of this episode and thought, you know, I have needs too. And since most men don’t mind MAKING IT PLAIN when it comes to their sexual needs, I thought I’d see who could meet my spiritual needs.  So, I asked the question “Do you care where I spend eternity?”

Out of 10 men, that I asked directly (and after posting this same question on my Facebook page).   I got two definite yeses, one “Hmmmm…. Not really”  one “Huh?” and one question mark and the rest didn’t answer at all.  Now before you picture me tying a noose around my neck and kicking a chair over, I must say that rather than discourage me , it encourages me. Especially in the area of sexual abstinence.You see, I look forward to being able meet the sexual needs  of my HUSBAND. Not my booty buddy, friend with benefits, married lover, live in lover, but HUSBAND. The Bible defines sex outside marriage as sin (Matt. 5:32; 19:9; John 8:41; Acts 15:20, 29; 21:25; Rom. 1:29; 1 Cor 5:1, 6:13, 18, 7:2; 10:8; 2 Cor 12:21; Gal 5:19; Eph 5:3; Col 3:5; 1 Thess. 4:3; Jude 1:7; Rev. 2:14, 20-21; 9:21; 14:8).So, for someone to constantly badger me about his sexual “needs” but not care at all about my spirit needs says that person is a bit insensitive (wouldn’t you agree?).

After all if I continued to offer my body to someone , in a sexual way , who was desiring to obey God‘s mandate (not suggestion, or even advice) not have sex with anyone they’re not married to, I would be called a few choice names. And he would warned about the spiritual dangers of associating with a woman like me (complete with scriptural references). So why then is it okay for me to put myself in spiritual danger for the sake of someones  manly “needs”.  Especially someone who’s not patient enough to wait until marriage before  feeling entitled to sex with me.  I will be blogging on this topic some more so STAY TUNED!!!!!

Inside of Me: Lessons of Lust, Love and Redemption by Shellie R. Warren – Columbus Christian fiction |

Inside of Me: Lessons of Lust, Love and Redemption by Shellie R. Warren – Columbus Christian fiction |

via Inside of Me: Lessons of Lust, Love and Redemption by Shellie R. Warren – Columbus Christian fiction |

Who is the Author and Finisher of YOUR Faith?

My hope is built on nothing less

Than Jesusblood and righteousness.
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly trust in Jesus’ Name.


On Christ the solid Rock I stand,
All other ground is sinking sand;
All other ground is sinking sand.                                                                  

When darkness seems to hide His face,
I rest on His unchanging grace.
In every high and stormy gale,
My anchor holds within the veil.


His oath, His covenant, His blood,
Support me in the whelming flood.
When all around my soul gives way,
He then is all my Hope and Stay.


When He shall come with trumpet sound,
Oh may I then in Him be found.
Dressed in His righteousness alone,
Faultless to stand before the throne.


Hebews 12: 1-3 (Amplified Version). 1THEREFORE THEN, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses [who have borne testimony to the Truth], let us strip off and throw aside every encumbrance (unnecessary weight) and that sin which so readily (deftly and cleverly) clings to and entangles us, and let us run with patient endurance and steady and active persistence the appointed course of the race that is set before us,    2Looking away [from all that will distract] to Jesus, Who is the Leader and the Source of our faith [giving the first incentive for our belief] and is also its Finisher [bringing it to maturity and perfection]. He, for the joy [of obtaining the prize] that was set before Him, endured the cross, despising and ignoring the shame, and is now seated at the right hand of the throne of God.(A)

    3Just think of Him Who endured from sinners such grievous opposition and bitter hostility against Himself [reckon up and consider it all in comparison with your trials], so that you may not grow weary or exhausted, losing heart and relaxing and fainting in your minds.

As  I listen and read the media reports surrounding the recent scandal involving yet another church leader, this time Bishop Eddie Long and three young men he allegedly coerced into having sex with him, I’m reminded of a conversation I had with a hair client of mine about the Catholic Church scandal. The young woman a was former Catholic and like a lot of former ___________(fill in the blanks)was discussing her dissatisfaction with the  Catholic church and church in general, especially leaders. As I got ready to respond in with a word of encouragement (my usual style of responding) , the Lord impressed upon me to ask her who the author and finisher of her faith was. At first I thought, Lord isn’t that rather harsh? But being obedient I told her want God wanted me to. As always, when I do my part God does His by giving me the rest of what he had for her (as well as a word of encouragement for myself). I went on to her remind that no, leaders  aren’t always correct in how they behave, but,  we still have to remember who our REAL leader is and that our faith and trust should stay in Him always, even in times like these, when we’re let down by those whom God appoints to watch over us and whom we have placed our trust in, because they will fall (I promise you), because they’re just human like that.

Not having been raised in church, I have respect for men of the cloth (church leaders). I’m  like the Roman centurion (Matthew 8: 5-13), in that I recognize God honored authority, BUT,   I have a problem when that authority gets abused.  When systems are corrupt, it leaves victims, their families, and other honest leaders to clean the mess that gets left (and trust me there is mess to clean up afterwards). Public scandals are  often the result when someone disobeys the private dealings of the Holy Spirit and God hs no choice but to pull the covers off that individual. Am I saying that this is the case with Bishop Long? We’ll just have to wait and see how this whole saga plays out and remember to keep praying for EVERYONE  who is involved. Because if these allegations are true, then it would mean that three  young men have been victimized by Mr. Long and they need our prayers as well

My Secret Confession

I have a confession to make. I don’t always miss sex. Don’t get me wrong, I look forward to my wedding night and later nights of lovemaking with my spouse. However, during those times when I’m not the mood for sex I’m glad I don’t have to worry about satisfying a spouse who could be in the mood when I’m not.

So many times we tend to focus on the times when it would nice to have that special companionship that comes from being with a member of the opposite gender, that we forget about the freedom of only having to please God. That unbroken fellowship that you can only enjoy during singlehood.

I recently underwent a spiritual attack that reminded me of all of what I stated above. I began to praise God that some of the men involved were already married. Whew!!!! Every temperament should not mix. Anyway, this attack taught me how to patiently prepare for Mr. Right and to enjoy my single life until he finds me.

Signing off, The Outrageously Happy Spinster,

Bye now.

The Good Christian Girl: A Fable | Christianity Today | A Magazine of Evangelical Conviction

The Good Christian Girl: A Fable | Christianity Today | A Magazine of Evangelical Conviction.

Welcome to The Happy Spinster

1 Corinthians7:32 I want you to be free from the concerns of this life. An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord’s work and thinking how to please him.33. but a married man has to think about his earthly responsibilities and how to please his wife. 34His interests are divided. In the same way, a woman who is no longer married or has never been married can be devoted to the Lord and holy in body and in spirit. But a married woman has to think about her earthly responsibilities and how to please her husband. 35I am saying this for your benefit, not to place restrictions on you. I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible.

This is not your run of the mill singles blog. My reason for starting this blog off with this particular scripture is because even though I’m “preparing for marriage for real”,  as are some of you, our whole experience as singles shouldn’t just be marriage preparation but also how to focus on God’s work and how to please Him. All of my postings  aren’t  going to be about the single life (no need to run it in the ground, right?) but a completely diverse look at the world of singles. Plus, I will include my own thoughts about dating, sexual purity, marriage preparation as well as world events. We are whole people with interests,  not halves waiting to become  whole (Colossians 2:8-10). Some of you are already satisfied with the single life and don’t wish to get married so there will stuff here for you too. No matter where you are in your life experience I will probably hit that topic . God Bless you and hopefully we’ll enjoy the ride together (P. S. please feel free to comment on any subject I post. I welcome feedback).

The All Seeing Eye…

Can anyone hide himself in secret places so that I cannot see him? says the Lord. Do not I fill heaven and earth? says the Lord.

Jeremiah 23:24 AMP

In this text, God is using Jeremiah to confront false prophetic ministry. God knows those who are His from those who aren’t His. He also knows whom He’s called from whom He hasn’t called. Yesterday, I journaled about people lying and saying that “God told them” that certain people are to be their spouses, when God never told them that. Misleading people by saying “God told me” when God never told you is serious business. God will not hold anyone faultless who deceives His people in such a manner.

The thing I like about this passage of scripture is that it is comforting to the born again believer who desires a closer fellowship with God. Someone once asked me how I felt about the fact that God sees everything I do (the statement was meant to shame me about some recent gossip that was being spread about me), I said “good” which shocked the person who asked me this question. The reason I said good was because although mankind can be lied to about me and believe it, God can’t. Because He knows what I’m doing and what I’m not doing. He doesn’t gossip.

Although mankind’s original sin in the Garden of Eden allowed sin to enter the world, God is still yet sovereign over the whole earth and everything in it belongs to Him to do with it as He pleases.


Isaiah 40:31 AMP

But those who wait for the Lord [who expect, look for, and hope in Him] shall change and renew their strength and power; they shall lift their wings and mount up [close to God] as eagles [mount up to the sun]; they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint or become tired.

Waiting isn’t laziness/procrastination/loafing/etc. Waiting is recharging your batteries. If we look at the our daily verse, we see what is supposed to be happening while we wait. Our strength is renewed, we lift our wings and fly closer to God, we RUN and don’t grow weary, and we walk and don’t faint (become tired). None of this is laziness. It’s all active. When we are waiting on God, He gives us “busy work” in the meantime, not just to keep us out of His way, but to develop us as born again believers in Christ. We serve an active God who works things out in our favor. In this season as I prepare for my bridegroom, I believe that all things are working together for my good because I love God and am called according to His purposes (Romans 8:28 AMP). I’m trusting God to develop me for a man HE has for me. Even though I know God can do anything, waiting is still hard because nature of our flesh wants to “help” (remember Sarai?). It is during this time that we need to sit still and know.

Rating our abilities with sober judgment…..

Romans 12:3 Amplified Bible (AMP)

For by the grace [of God] given to me I say to everyone of you not to think more highly of himself [and of his importance and ability] than he ought to think; but to think so as to have sound judgment, as God has apportioned to each a degree of faith [and a purpose designed for service].

In this passage, I find it interesting that the writer (possibly Paul the Apostle) mentions God’s grace when warning the Christians to whom this letter is addressed to. He mentions this to let the congregation know he isn’t speaking out his own carnal opinion, but after careful deliberation and prayer. He goes on to warn them about thinking more highly of themselves than they ought. How often do we as human beings let others do this to us. I’ve always said that when others overestimate their importance in my life, God has a tendency to move them from my life without any drama or craziness (usually). I recently left a denomination that seemed to want to do this to me. They seemed to want to take God’s place in my life. As I’ve stayed clear of them, their control over me is decreasing. To the point that I’m regaining more of a sense of self. The rest of this passage refers to HOW we are faith apportioned by God to him (her). So how we’re to view our own abilities isn’t to in accordance with our own opinions of ourselves but God’s view of our abilities. I like to use the example of singers. There varying degrees of singing. From the very powerful to the very soft. Both are powerful and passionate but the distinction is who is glorified with the ability to minister effectively. And the emotional intention of the singer. Are they conveying TRUTH?? This is something to think about with ALL gifts.

Relationships are more than dick and bubble gum….

My godmother used to joke with that many men only have two things to offer a woman, dick and bubble gum and always seem to be out if gum. The dick and bubble man is pretty easy to spot after you develop a keen sense of discernment. They’re the guy who seems to think that dick is the solution to all a woman’s problems. Even if they’re able to help you financially, the help is always accompanied by, you guessed it, dick. Back when I was younger, we used to call these men “breath and britches “men because they seemed to have little more to offer a woman than that . Nothing of any real substance.

The problem with men like this is that when you need them for more than just sex, you can’t find them. They “ghost” you, disappearing when you need them the most revealing their true self to you. The only positive thing about dick and bubble gum men is well, nothing. You have to be into no strings sex yourself and since many women aren’t or at least many of the women who I see posting to social media or have run across in women’s ministry aren’t my advice is if you choose to keep dealing with “Casper” is keep your options open and tighten up on your birth control because if you can’t count on him (and his “disappearing acts” are proof that you can’t), any child you have by him won’t be able to either. I know that SOME MEN change after they get children with a woman, but your life plan doesn’t include single parenthood, I would follow the advice I gave earlier. I know this sounds rough, but it’s meant to provoke about your life plans and how you want your love life to go.

Hoe-ified Pt. 3

Eric Campbell

Jessica Simpson

Teacher Bae

The Princess (My Daughter)

I posted the above pictures in this installment of “Hoe-ified” to illustrate a point about women being slut-shamed over something they can’t do anything about. THEIR ANATOMY OR BODY TYPE.

This type of hoe-ifying goes way deeper than the type of clothing a women wears. It’s really about how certain body types are associated with SEX. More importantly, how MEN respond to women’s dimensions or body type.

Click here to listen. As always, I welcome your opinions on this topic.

Top Reasons Why Women Say a Man’s “Too Nice”: How to Overcome “The Nice Guy”Trap 

Do nice guys really finish last??

Or is that a line that men to “guilt” women into “sympathy sex”?

In this post I list some reasons women give for why they might consider a guy “too nice”. 

I also talk how to overcome the “nice guy” trap/curse and learn how to be more assertive in your approach to women and, really, life.

Hopefully, this recording will put you on the right path toward getting the woman (love) you want. 

Listen and enjoy (click here to listen)

How to Avoid Buying “Shoddy Goods”

Shoddy = Badly made or done. Of inferior quality. 

For the purposes of this post goods=relationships NOT PEOPLE. There’s no such thing as shoddy people, only relationships or situations (and they can be salvaged). 

In this post, I talk about dodging relationship bullets that have the potential to take you into unnecessary drama and messiness. 

NOW this isn’t to be confused with relationship situations that aren’t perfect but still may lead to happy relationships. Listen and enjoy……(click here to listen)